It's easy to think that when you see the polished website, my smiling face on so many pictures and the weekly uplifting emails that I send out, that I really have got it all together.
That I wake each day with energy, ready to go and make it all happen.
But it's not always like that.
This morning I spent most of my morning mindlessly watching 'inspirational' videos on Facebook. Lots of 'uplifting' ones from the Ellen show that did nothing to cheer me up.
Why was I down?
I have absolutely no idea.
Perhaps I've taken on too much and I feel a bit overwhelmed.
It may also be menopause as I've read that many women have these uncontrollable spurts of melancholia.
But if I'm being really honest, I've always had these moments of miserableness. It's just part of who I am.
I've learned that I just have to go with the flow when this happens. Stay in bed a little longer, watch these videos and just be miserable for a bit.
I know it will pass.
And I know that I have tools that can help me manage these spells.
One of these is just to write it all down. Or typing as I do now. I may even share this writing with you even though I'm not sure about it now. It's a little more likely than before as I've been reading Brené Brown's books and have learned that it's ok to be vulnerable. It's ok to admit that I'm not perfect. It can be a sign of strength, not weakness.
I actually think it may be good for you to see that I'm not perfect although I'm assuming that you already know this.
Because despite my burst of melancholia and my inability to show up on some days, I have still built a successful business online.
I have managed to share photos of myself and many articles and showcased my knowledge with so many of you.
I have helped thousands of women to feel better about themselves and give them confidence to be their best selves.
I know that I will continue to do that even though I have bad days like this. Even though I'm an introvert who likes to hide behind her computer on many days. I'm on a mission to empower more women and that drives me further.
Another tool I use to overcome this is to practise gratitude.
I have so much to be thankful for.
I'm thankful for my drive and dedication that has helped me to build the business I always wanted and that gives me the ability to stay in my bed and be miserable (believe me, it's much better than showing up in this state at your 9-5 job and making everyone around me miserable too.)
I'm thankful for my health and the health of my family.
Thankful for the house I live in and the office space and this computer that now captures my thoughts.
I'm thankful for the meaningful work that I do and for the kind messages of thanks that awaited me when I finally opened up my email.
Thankful for the amazing holiday I just had with my family and for the business trip and conference that I have planned for a few weeks from now.
All these make me realise that life is good.
I have created this life for myself and a lot of it is a direct result from all the decisions that I have made throughout my 50+ years.
No, I'm not one of those blessed people that is always upbeat and happy and who always has the energy to put herself out there, but I did do a lot and I learned a lot and have so much of what I learned to share with you.
Throughout the years I happened to learn a LOT about doing business online, about overcoming fear and these miserable spells, about ways to get back on track and be consistent despite of it and about connecting with women from all over the world to give them more belief in themselves.
There is a lot more work left to do and I have so much more to share.
I want YOU to feel empowered to create the life of your dreams.
So if you ever feel melancholic or down or feel that it's all just too much or that you're not up to the tasks ahead, I'm here to tell you that you can. You've got the power girl! You've got the wisdom. You have what you need to make a difference in this word. We need you now more than ever!
We want to know about your gifts. We want to see your beautiful heart. We want to learn what you can share with us.
And I would like to help you get there.
My free workshop on how to turn your skills and passion into a business you love is next week already. Come join me and let me teach you how you can share your gifts with the world.